Looking through the window of my cabin reminds me of looking back through the window of time. After my partner left me when I was five week's pregnant I carried a lot of negativity towards him for years. It wasn't something I talked about publicly and if you have read my blog since it's conception you will know that. After I became a mother Father's Day reminded me of the lack of my partner's presence in our lives and I felt what I perceived as justifiable anger in my heart. Than I reached a point where I was able to pray for my child's father to be saved in God 's eternal kingdom( see January 25, 2017 post). This prayer had a powerful impact on me because it dissolved the anger in my heart. In time I have gained a deeper understanding of the love of God, His patience, mercy and forgiveness. Only because of this loss I have been more clearly able to discern my need to have these qualities - patience, love and forgiveness - in me. It has made me grow beyond the self centred person that I was. This in turn has given me a thankful heart. This realization has deepened my love and need for God. I have learned that no matter what dark valley that I find myself trapped in - there is hope. Keeping the faith through the year's of loss is a choice I have never regretted. I still have questions but I trust Him more deeply than before and I am willing to live with them unanswered. So on this Father's Day - I celebrate my relationship with Him. I look up not only for hope in the future but in thanksgiving because in His great love he brought me through the grief of loss and He can do that for you too.
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Isn't it wonderful how the very difficulties and trials that we think will just destroy us, God turns them around, and uses it for our benefit! I never cease to be amazed at how HE works like that! I'm thankful that the Lord has been everything and more to you, in all that you have been through! I've learned the very same things my friend, and once you have walked through the fire with Him, it changes your perspective in so many ways, and a thankful/grateful heart never ceases to give HIM praise! Hugs :)
ReplyDeleteMarilyn, it is my hope that someone out there will read this and give God a chance.
ReplyDeleteLike you, Ronda, I have found myself turning to God more in these trying years of my life. I have tried to find forgiveness in my heart, compassion and understanding. When I get there, it's as if a great weight has been lifted. I know you have not had an easy road. I am glad you have been able to find some solace in prayer. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHe can, indeed, and He has done it for me. This is a beautiful testimony, Ronda. I appreciate your transparency, and I know God is using your blog to reach others with the truth of His love. You are glorifying Him, my friend. Hugs.
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